It’s Beautiful!

“You have to wake me up!!”

“But it’s at 3am! There’s no point waking you up!”

“But I want to see it!! You have to wake me up okay?!”

I was excited. I had never seen a lunar (or was it solar? hmm…) eclipse before. I was determined not to miss out on the rare event, and I was so nervous that I would miss it that I couldn’t fall asleep. Time seemed to pass by slower than ever as I lied in bed, but soon enough I was asleep.

“Wake up! I can see it! Let’s go! Didn’t you say you wanted to see it?”

The sudden loud voice of my dad broke through the silence and I woke up slightly confused. I had no idea what he was talking about and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. He pulled me out of bed and because I was groggy, I forgot to put on my glasses. I didn’t realize I had forgotten my glasses until we were downstairs and out the door, but right when I stepped outside, I also realized I didn’t need my glasses. It was beautiful. It was a giant, bright orange blob of light in the sky. The slightly blurred edges and extended beams of light made it all the more beautiful, and I was glad I had left my glasses behind. The fuzziness added to it’s wonder; to witness something that awesome made me tingle with happiness.

“What are you looking at? It’s over here.”

Confused, I turned around and realized that my dad was pointing towards the opposite of where I had been looking, and that the actual eclipse was nothing like I thought it was. Without my glasses, I could only see a dim reddish spot in the sky. I pretended to be in awe while sneakily looking back towards what I was originally staring at: a lamp post.

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End.

Everyone is preparing to go back to school, but I still have a week of break left! Not sure what I’ll be doing, but there’s tons of options, most of them productive. But that doesn’t mean that’s what I’ll be doing x:

This break has probably been one of the most enjoyable for me, although a lot of not so good things happened also. But! I was able to hang out with home friends a lot more than usual, and just being home is doing a lot to help me stay calm and motivated. I feel like I never want to go back to Berkeley.

I have really changed my mindset since sophomore year though. Now I feel like I’ve been trying a lot harder to just enjoy Berkeley and be okay about being there. And it’s working. But coming home twice a year reminds me that Berkeley isn’t quite the standard I should be holding myself to. People in Berkeley seem to be chasing their own dreams and don’t quite care if you follow along or not. Somewhere along the way I think I got caught up and tried to make unrealistic goals for myself, comparing my goals to other people’s, and thinking I had to follow along this written-in-stone path. I’ve always been a follower. Following everyone else’s expectations of me is how I’ve always made my decisions, because I’ve never made my own. I am indecisive. I am more indecisive than most, so it becomes relatively easy to just let someone else take the wheel. When it comes time for me to actually step up, though, I tend to choke and pick what I think would benefit someone else.

I think I need to relax and take everything one step at a time. It’s time to pursue things because I find interest in them, not because it’ll get me somewhere in the future, or because it’s what most people do, but because I’d like to end up somewhere enjoyable to me, not someone else’s dream. I hope when I read this post in the future, I won’t feel like I’m lying to myself.

Please tell me things worked out all right. I hope you grew a pair and swallowed your pride and fear.

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Build Me Up Buttercup

This has been stuck in my head the past few days =.=

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2011 Reflection.

A reflection of the past year, because everyone does it.

To start things off, I did not get to read Godel, Escher, Bach, nor did I do problems from that one challenge book, but I did learn Java (cs61bl in the summer). I did not laugh until I cried, but I did have more fun and learn to let go much better.

In 2011, I have felt gut-wrenching embarrassment, betrayal of supposedly really good friends, the unending guilt of betraying someone’s trust, and the feeling that sometimes, things don’t actually work out in the end if you don’t put in sufficient effort.

I became infinitely closer with my two roommates, Whitney and Christina, and our adventures are always fun and exciting. Haha, really, I don’t think Fall semester would have been as awesome without them ;]. Along the same lines, Cynthia and I had many more McDonald’s adventures, and talking with her keeps me sane.

I fell in love with swing! Kind of. I am too embarrassed to dance in public.

I just realized writing a reflection post is boring to me. =[ Hmm… a little change is in order. I hope the last six months of this site will be more entertaining to me than the posts from the past year and a half.

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Mission: Chocolate Pudding.

Since flying to Irvine and seeing chocolate pudding in the supermarket with Paul, I’ve been craving chocolate pudding. I told him I’d probably get some when we go back to El Monte, so I didn’t buy any there. Little did I know how hard it was to find chocolate pudding. Cue the 2 week long adventure to find chocolate pudding.

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a little bit. I wasn’t on the active lookout to find it, but it certainly was on my mind! Almost every day, my dad and I have been taking walks to various places: Sears, Northgate Market, Carlton’s (sp?) Market, Valley Boulevard. One day, was we set out to Northgate Market to get more carrots to feed our wild bunnies, I mentioned really wanting chocolate pudding. We walked all the way there, and lo and behold, NO CHOCOLATE PUDDING! There wasn’t even the powder do-it-yourself kind! I was flabbergasted. No chocolate pudding at a market? Nonsense. On our way back home we stopped by Carlton’s Market (which I think is closing down soon? They have no customers! D:). Again, no chocolate pudding. The next day we walked to Walgreens on Valley. No chocolate pudding. The world was against me.

I have no idea how to end this dramatically, so I will just tell it how it was. We crossed the street illegally to Food 4 Less, and they had chocolate pudding. Did this adventure make the pudding taste better? It certainly did.

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Old AcaDec Speech

Yup. This brought back a lot of memories. Giving this speech is when I found out I really, REALLY suck at public speaking. Had to speak in front of 5 judges and I ended up butchering my speech. Skipped so many lines, stood there awkwardly without saying anything for a good minute (it was only a 3-4 minute speech), and then completely mumbling and saying gibberish until they finally allowed me to stop. All the time and thought I put into my speech went to waste, but hey, at least I still like it 3 years later (though there would be things I would change), which can’t be said about any of my previous writings.

Keep in mind this is a speech, and it has to have some research and teach the judges about something of your choosing. Here goes:

 

Imagine walking into your room or office and finding everything a complete mess. Papers thrown everywhere, clothes scattered all over the floor. You decide to clean up and reorganize everything, and that takes the entire day to complete. You promise to keep it neat and tidy, but a week later, everything is just as messy as it was before, and you find yourself rolling up your sleeves to do it all over again. Disorganization happens all around us; we just don’t think about or notice it. When a bowl falls and breaks into pieces, when you mix hot and cold water, and even when you make Kool-Aid, you’re dealing with disorganization. The way to measure disorganization is through entropy. Entropy measures disorder, and the higher the disorder, the higher the entropy.

When you pour hot water into cold water, the hot water doesn’t just stay in one corner. It spreads out, moving around and mixing with the cold water molecules and creating disorganization. The result is equilibrium, or warm water. It reaches equilibrium because the fast-moving hot water molecules bump into the slow-moving cold water molecules and create medium-paced warm water molecules. It is true that entropy, or disorganization, keeps getting higher and higher until it reaches equilibrium and is unable to become any more disorganized. In fact, the idea of disorder increasing until equilibrium is actually better known as the second law of thermodynamics.

Another example would be if I had a new can of lemon-scented air freshener and started to spray the entire can in that corner. At first, all that lemony freshness would stay in that corner and only I would be able to smell it. But slowly, the smell of the air freshener will move towards the other corners of the room and you would be able to smell it too. The smell would keep spreading until every inch of this room smelled lemony fresh, and when that happens, entropy has reached its max and is at equilibrium because the molecules are now spread evenly throughout the room.

Now theoretically, all that lemony scent can eventually bump around and move back to the original corner, but the chances of that are so low that we can say it’s impossible. Entropy seems to go only one way, toward a state of higher disorder. When a diver dives into a pool of water, all that water that the diver displaces can suddenly move back and push the diver back out of the water and onto the diving board, but it has never happened. One common example is a melting ice cube. Water molecules in an ice cube are solid and stable, but as it melts the molecules become disorganized and start to lose the ice cube shape. Soon a puddle of disorganized water molecules is all that’s left, and the puddle won’t be able to turn back into an ice cube by itself.

So if everything in this world is trying to reach maximum entropy, or disorganization, what will happen to our lives? Our planet? Our universe? The answer is that eventually we will reach the heat death of the universe. This means that there will be no difference between hot and cold. Everything would be the same temperature. We won’t be able to do any “mechanical work,” like moving our hands, walking, picking things up, speaking, and even breathing. You might be wondering what heat has to do with moving around, and there is a simple explanation for that. The sun shines its rays on a field of grass. The grass uses the heat energy from the sun to grow and flourish. The cows in turn eat that grass to grow big and fat. We humans then turn the cows into hamburgers to eat. When we eat the hamburger, we get energy from it, and use that energy to move around and pick things up. If we were to ever reach the heat death of the universe, nothing would live. Luckily for us though, the chances of reaching the heat death of the universe is once in many many lifetimes of our universe.

So even though our world is bent on disorder, we manage to create order. We make things more efficient, like computers, refrigerators, light bulbs, and cars. But more surprisingly, we do this naturally through evolution. All living things are so complex and organized it’s a wonder how life was created. In the face of increasing disorder and chaos we living things have managed to find a way to become more complex, more organized, and more intelligent.

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Junior Year.

I can honestly say that this is the hardest semester of my life. Never have I ever done so poorly in all of my classes and have nothing to show. I spend most of my time on math, and it doesn’t turn out well; I spend a lot less time on CS, and, big surprise, I’m not doing well in that either.

I attempted to quit my job, but now am working reduced hours. My last midterm will be this upcoming Monday, which will be the deciding point of how well I do in 113 (abstract algebra). I love math. I tell myself that quite a lot, but now I know I’ve been quite delusional. I recently switched my applied math major to math with a teaching concentration because, honestly, I think that’s what I really want to do. I am never going to go far into the math field or make any major contributions, and from the very beginning, I never intended to. Fortunately all the math classes I’ve taken so far have been required for the teaching concentration, but unfortunately I will need to take 3 more classes than originally planned in order to get the degree.

As for CS, I honestly do like it, and I’m hoping by switching my math major I can spend more time with CS instead of letting it sit on the back burner. Math 128a (numerical analysis) is actually the math class I’ve enjoyed the most out of the math classes I’ve taken so far, but it’s so confusing! -__- The book might as well be written in a foreign language. The ideas in the class are interesting, though.

SwingCal beginner 2 has been fun. Much more fun than beginner 1. I’m going to miss swing dancing quite a lot when I don’t have the class next semester =[.

I supposed that’s my update for school. Hopefully other updates coming soon after my midterm. This is a great way to destress; it’s like organizing my thoughts and seeing how silly I’ve been. I wonder where we’ll all be in 3 years.

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Chicken poop.

After my long awaited trip to Malaysia (aug15-sept1), I learned a little more about myself. Other than the fact that I ate chicken poop when I was a toddler (which I’d known for a while), I started crawling when I was 4 months (average crawling age is 6-9 months), and walking by one. I was a loner child who liked to talk and play by myself, and I was a hoarder even when I was little. There are things that I remember, like hiding candy wrappers under my bed, collecting real eggs and coloring them with markers and hiding them under my pillow, and obsessively finding value in the most useless things, but I never thought about them much until after this trip (which I still need to make a post about, hopefully after my brother posts pictures and I’m not busy with school [which may be December]).

I am still a compulsive hoarder, and I still find great contentment in being alone.

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Declaration.

So says the title, so let it be true. I am now a declared math major! The process was extremely easy and fast, and I am still in slight disbelief that I am actually a declared math major. My faculty adviser is Persson!! He was my Math1B professor, and I loved the class. Declaring is such a happy feeling, and now I’m even more excited to declare Computer Science.

Today I had my second Computer Science midterm, the last one! I’m happy it’s over now, but I have a feeling that I didn’t do too well =[. CS is fun! Or I am much more interested in it than other things. I love the feeling of finally having everything work!

Harry Potter 7, Part 2, was pretty good! Of course there are parts that could have been done better, but overall it is kind of nice to finally have an ending to it. Hopefully it’ll still be popular in a few years! I will own the entire series someday (books and movies)! HEEH HEH HEH! And Snape really is the best character!

I’ve also been trying to get into stocks a little bit more, but I really am kinda fail at it. Join me and Canasta people in stock trading (fake money)!
http://www.pftq.com/stocks

Now to tell you about my life goal (or, since everyone reading this probably already knows, a refresher/explanation/reminder to myself for future reference). Kevin sent me this list: http://pastebin.com/GSeGfPBp. It’s a list of the Top 200 (arguable, as any list is) books! A few of us have made it our life goal to read all 200 (or at least most) of these within our lifetime. So far I have only read about 15, so I really need to get going if I want to finish before I die. And this doesn’t even factor in future great books! Life is too short to read all the good books =[.

20 days before I leave the country!

 

 

 

 

 

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One Midterm Down!

I finished up with MCB61, and very glad to be done with it. The final wasn’t too bad, and I’m pretty sure I did relatively well. Today was my first midterm for CS61BL, and I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. I think I did all right, but for some reason I can never be too sure in CS. I’m still enjoying CS in general, though, which is awesome news because I’m happy with at least one of my majors so far. We’ll see about math though, since I’ll be taking math113 (abstract algebra) and 128a (numerical analysis) next semester. Two more math classes after that (including the hardest one, 104), and I’ll be done! That is, after I take a cluster of CS classes for the applied portion of my applied math major. I’m pretty darn excited, but I have yet to declare my major.

July 4th was a few days ago, and we (2525 Durant kids + Kevin + Mike, which was about 9ish people?) headed over to Pier 39 in SF to watch the fireworks. Pretty exciting if you ask me, though it was tons of walking. There were smiley face ones! The Friday before that, we (Durant kids, for short, which includes Canasta people) went to Bi-Rite Creamery in SF! Supposedly one of the best ice cream places in the bay, and also in the US! :D It was pretty good, and I need to go back and try one of their cakes some day. Durant kids are on a mission to try all the best ice cream places in the bay!

Also, now that everything is settled, I’m heading to Malaysia in August! The plan so far:

August 12th – Final for CS61BL, packpackpack.
August 13th – Fly down to SoCal.
August 15th – Fly to Malaysia.
Yay for 2 weeks!
September 1st – Fly back to the US.
September 3rd – Fly back  to Berkeley, a week behind and extremely jetlagged.

Sounds like fun, huh? I’m most scared of being unable to catch up once I get back =[.

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b2Fkcy81LXBlcmxpbmlzYXdlc29tZS5wbmciO2k6NDtzOjcxOiJodHRwOi8vcGVybGluaXNhd2Vzb21lLm9yZy93cC1jb250ZW50L3dvb191cGxvYWRzLzQtcGVybGluaXNhd2Vzb21lLnBuZyI7aTo1O3M6NzE6Imh0dHA6Ly9wZXJsaW5pc2F3ZXNvbWUub3JnL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvd29vX3VwbG9hZHMvMy1wZXJsaW5pc2F3ZXNvbWUucG5nIjt9PC9saT48L3VsPg==